This beautiful January morning, I am perched on my apartment couch, gazing out at a wintry Pikes Peak. I hear the buzz of traffic on the streets below and the ticking of the wall clock. I am savoring the bite of my dark-brewed coffee and the gift of time. Most of all, I am feeling compelled to think about perspective.
You see, I injured my back last Saturday. I hurt it hardly doing anything which is a maddening thought. I merely stretched too far on a sit-and-reach exercise, pushing my back to a point of strain. Though I felt my back's complaint, I proceeded to do more exercises and then ran one measly mile. I heard my back telling me to stop, but I was stubborn and pushed through the stiffness. I didn't want to quit. I was with others and I didn't want to say that I had to stop. Well hello, Pride.
That stubborn choice cost me greatly. By the end of my jog, I could barely walk, my lower back screaming foul play and causing every move to be rife with pain. I could barely get into my car to drive home and then took embarrassingly long minutes to wince my way out of my car and up the apartment stairs. The rest of the day was consumed with downing pain meds, finding the most comfortable position and limiting movement as much as possible. I had become a sort of invalid in just a short time.
As a result of my pride, I have missed four days of school this week and have found myself somewhat strapped to my apartment. Normally, so much down time would be a gift. Yet, when you feel limited in your ability to move or drive about, the gift turns into confinement. Keeping my spirits up has been a crazy battle which has led me to ask, If I can't stand this much pain and inconvenience, how would I fair with the much-worse that so many others face daily? This small trial has been testing my emotional and spiritual strength and I have found myself relatively weak in those regards.
So this morning as I sit on the couch that has become quite my good friend, I am convicted about my perspective. It strikes me afresh that the human condition is naturally inclined to see the mess in a situation rather than all the things that are blessedly right. Earlier, I flipped back in my journal and saw an old entry where I was wrestling deeply with something that is no longer a big trial in my life. I had to shake my head in wonder. Will I navigate life by simply trading worry for worry? Or can I rise above and learn the art of a thankful perspective?
In that same journal, I wrote notes of thanks this morning. It proved good medicine. Choosing a positive perspective does not come naturally to me, but if I allow the Holy Spirit to reign in my heart, it becomes a lot easier. To that end, I am thankful for extra time. I am hopeful that while I sit, I will be still in spirit and dwell in the presence of God. I am in true need of His daily redemption and am endlessly thankful that He is near. I want to gain a healthy perspective, and He is the best Perspective-fixer I know. Here's to sitting and dwelling and cultivating a thankful perspective during this time.
