Dynamic Life

When I was a first-year teacher, I cried.  A lot.  Not necessarily in front of my students.  In fact, I usually was able to bar the tears from falling until my planning period when the tears would explode like a sudden avalanche.  Sometimes I would cry in the privacy of my classroom.  Sometimes I would seek out the comfort of the drama teacher who has been a close friend and mentor of mine ever since.

I would cry about nearly anything that didn't go right.  For anyone who has taught for very long, you know how often things don't go quite right in this profession.  After all, we work with tons of humans, and for middle school teachers, adolescent humans nonetheless.  It's a volatile business, this job, and it takes a tough mind.  I was far too sensitive and far too unaware that most of the students' misbehavior had nothing to do with their thoughts or reactions to me at all.  It was just their unfiltered, immature reactions to whatever was chapping them that day.

It's interesting to me how certain memories are emblazoned in my mind with very specific details.  For example, I can remember the outfit I was wearing when I had one of these breakdowns that first year.  Perhaps I recall the gold, white and black skirt and black blouse I was sporting because one of the assistant principals had found me in my vulnerable state and had to sit with me and chat about what was going on.  I have distinct visions of looking down at my necklace and noticing my clothing because I was ashamed to be so weak.  I'm not sure why, but I remember those articles of clothing and the painful gold shoes I was wearing like it were yesterday.

By the grace of God, I made it through that first year and am now in my fifth year of teaching.  These days, I feel like I am turning into a boot-camp instructor.  I am tough on my students and tough-minded about my approach in the classroom.  Yet, at the same time, I feel that I am more compassionate and more able to see the true needs of students than I used to be.  I am not bragging.  That would be ridiculous.  I have so much yet to learn about this crazy ride called teaching. 

Instead, I am simply gratified by seeing the growth I've undergone in these last few years.  It's similar to the growth I see in students that I teach.  I love watching them come in as kids in 6th grade and mature into teenagers approaching adulthood in 8th grade.  They grow in every way possible---physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.  There is rarely any aspect of their lives that is not affected within those three years.  It is incredible to observe.

As I was walking up the stairs to my apartment tonight, I was contemplating how dynamic life is.  It is ever-changing and is always affording new opportunities.  God has been gracious to me and has loved me through so many stages in my life.  He has bolstered me in rough times and has kept by me in good times.  He has helped me to change from an overwhelmed, naive teacher to the slightly-more-confident teacher I am today.  I feel full of gratitude and of praise to Him for His hand in this and in all areas of my life.  I am thankful for His gift of dynamic life.

Woodhead: Small Town Boy. Big Time Success.

My Grandpa has always been a fantastic story teller.  He can retell even the most mundane happenings in the most charming and hilarious way.  So, a few years ago, when he began telling stories about a phenomenal athlete at the local North Platte, NE high school, I didn't over-think it.  Sure, Grandpa made this kid sound like Superman himself.  But then, Grandpa had that way of making everything in life fun, exhilarating, and interesting.  So, there was no need to get too hyper about this reported high school Hercules. 

Yet, the stories about this kid kept coming.  I quickly realized that my Grandpa truly believed this guy was unusual.  He wasn't wrong.  Thanks to Grandpa's foresight, the name Danny Woodhead became a household name for me years before it did for football-crazed fans around the country. 

I am speaking of the New England Patriot's budding star, Danny Woodhead.  That Mr. Woodhead is the same Mr. Woodhead that my Grandpa would proclaim as a sensation when he was playing his heart out in high school.  That Mr. Woodhead is the small-town-raised, small-sized machine of a man that my Grandpa often spoke of with admiration and an awestruck shake of his head. 

My brother recently brought my attention to the fact that Danny had not only made it into the NFL but that he was becoming downright popular as well.  Wow.  My Grandpa saw him play many times.  He is now one of the wonder stories of the NFL.  How fun is that?

Here is an article on Danny Woodhead done by ESPN that my brother shared with me a few days ago.  If you want to see a colorful (and a bit exaggerated in spots) view of his North Platte, NE upbringing, it's an entertaining read.  I just sort of think my Grandpa should get some credit.  He knew this guy rocked from the start. 
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/playoffs/2010/columns/story?page=hotread18/DannyWoodhead

It Can all Change so Quickly

I am sitting in Barnes and Noble, sipping green tea and gazing out at the parking lot.  The weather this morning was glorious.  I went for a jog in the warm sun and then sat on my porch to read Great Expectations by Charles Dickens while soaking in as many rays as the January sun would allow.  It was almost too hot for me, and I had to break to find some sunscreen.  I slathered it on my face and the classic summery smell gave me visions of being in a different place at a different time.

I'm glad that I took advantage of the unusual warmth while I could.  Winter storms and severely cold temperatures are supposed to invade tomorrow, and the gathering gray and low-hanging clouds that I spy in the sky give warning that such predictions are true.  Perhaps a snow day is right around the corner.

It can all change so quickly.  Weather.  Life.  Scary and comforting too.  Scary because present bliss may be snatched away in a moment.  Comforting because oppressive misery might quickly be relieved. 

No matter what, Jesus never changes.  One of the most comforting verses for me this last year was Hebrews 13:8: "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."  I love that truth so much that I've been working on crafting a song based on it.  Knowing that Jesus is never inconstant is an understanding that wraps my heart in peace.

The clouds have dimmed the sunlight even more since I first began typing.  That's okay.  I've had my sun for the day.  Let the snow fall. 

No Unimportant Person

It's been awhile since I've blogged.  In attempting to add another entry, I may find myself overly ambitious.  Lately, I've been reading C.S. Lewis, a true mastermind who had the incredible ability to make deep and perplexing matters seem logical and straight forward.  I was impacted by a thought of his recently.  Writing about it will not be a mindless task.

My good friend, whom I have now known for over 20 years, gave me The Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis for Christmas.  It is a compilation of short addresses that C.S. Lewis had given at various points in his life.  In perhaps his most famous address, "The Weight of Glory", Lewis speaks to the deep and unmet longings that all men experience in the fallen world and suggests how those longings point to the hope and reality of Heaven. 

Toward the end of the piece, Lewis talks about how believers ought to seriously consider the plight of the souls they interact with every day.  He says that though there may be danger of a believer dwelling too much on his own glorified life to come after death, "...it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour" (Lewis, pg. 45, Harper Collins Publishers). 

In other words, every person whom we encounter is an eternal soul that is on a trajectory headed toward a glorious overflowing of life or a dreadful and unspeakable anguish of death upon the end of his/her temporal life.  Indeed, there are no unimportant or insignificant people.  Lewis begs his audience to remember that "the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you say it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare" (Lewis 45).

It is such strong language, but it conveys his point well.  As humans, we are drawn to apathy.  We struggle to keep the strong scent of urgency fresh on the nostrils of our spiritual senses.  It reminds me of Ephesians 5:16 which urges us to "make the most of every opportunity".  Apathy must be barred from my life and yours if we are to be effective ambassadors for the kingdom of God.

This theme is timely with the entrance of the New Year as well.  I've heard a few sermons of late that have reinforced this idea of seizing the day and recognizing the opportunities directly in our path.  As Toby Mac croons in his song "City on our Knees":  "If you gotta start somewhere, why not here?  If you gotta start sometime, why not now?"

My prayer for you and for me is that we will take note of even the most uninteresting person we meet.  Let us not lose sight of the most important mission God has given us on earth.  Let us be diligent fishers of men.