My goal for this year has been to get rid of as much excess obligation in my life as possible. I find that I easily over-committ and then kick myself for it the rest of the year. Then, I don't enjoy my job and feel like a piece of taffy stretched far too wide. No more of that this year.
So, thus far, I have accomplished said goal. I only teach one piano lesson outside of school. That's it. No other permanent obligations with ministries, friends, or school. Perhaps it won't stay this way forever, but for right now, it's perfect. I can feel the positive effects already. I have time to exercise, time to read, time to enjoy life. Plus, I am loving my job more than I thought possible. It's a small miracle.
As part of my new goal, I am attempting to get back into good physical condition. I have begun running after work with a colleague. Today, however, my colleague couldn't run because of another obligation. So, I drove home (which is now just four minutes away from school!), grabbed my iPod and made myself jog on my own anyway.
As I rounded the last corner of my route and faced a gradual uphill for almost the last mile, I passed one of the students from my school who was sprinting the other way. I threw a wave like the friendly teacher I should be, wondering all the while what the heck he thought of a sweaty, beet-faced me.
Then, another student jogged past. "Wait a minute," I thought. "Is that a whole hoard or middle schoolers running my way?" Yep. The cross-country team from my school was jogging my route backwards...or at least that stretch backwards. So, I had the pleasure of bumbling past many of my students, trying to look chipper and vivacious while stuffing my angst about what I might look like at this point in my run. After all, some of them looked a bit bedraggled...but I, I must have really looked like a beaten horse due to my less-than-stellar physical condition at the moment.
I exchanged niceties with the students I passed while laughing to myself for getting into this predicament. I laughed out loud when I passed one of the coaches, making a lame joke about going the wrong way. He smiled and laughed too, even giving me a high five as we passed each other. I mean, it really wasn't that bad, but was just one of those events that I wouldn't have chosen to occur, you know? Pathetic, I realize.
At least when I'm teaching something in music class and a student feels confused, intimidated or just plain bored (though boredom never happens in my class, I promise), he can simply recall me staggering along the sidewalk in a hopeful jog and the memory will create a momentary amusement.
Ah, the joys of teaching middle school!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Overcast Bliss
I'm a strange person. I love overcast days. In actuality, I suppose there are a number of people who enjoy a drizzly day even if they won't admit it. But, for me, a gloomy day gives me a sense of calm that I never fail to appreciate. Too many gloomy days in a row can be overwhelming, but, in general, a rainy day is welcome in my world.
So, not only is today such an overcast wonder, but it is also the first day I have experienced the new found, free Wi-Fi at Barnes and Noble. Add this place to my roster of computer-outing hot spots. Love it. Could my day be any better? Doubtful, unless Matthew Fox strolled in right now, spotted me, and sat with me for a good hour-long chat. He would notice me, you know. We are both from Wyoming and that makes us two of a kind.
Anyway, the other night, I saw the movie Julie and Julia (or the other way around?). For a movie title that's so confusing, it was a quaint and refreshing flick. Beyond the fact that Meryl Streep made an honestly fabulous Julia Childs, the film also inspired me to get into my blog again...while it also reminded me how narcissistic blogging is. I really have no clue if anybody short of my family reads my blog, but I find blogging therapeutic and fun nonetheless. Way to go, Hollywood, for pushing me to be all that I can be. Maybe?
This afternoon, I am going to return an incredibly overdue movie to the store from which I rented it, chat with my roommate who just returned from overseas, lie down for a nap, ponder the graciousness of God, and prepare myself for another week at school. That's a lot to do on one rainy day where nothing but reading, sipping warm liquids, and snoozing sounds appealing.
Until next time...
So, not only is today such an overcast wonder, but it is also the first day I have experienced the new found, free Wi-Fi at Barnes and Noble. Add this place to my roster of computer-outing hot spots. Love it. Could my day be any better? Doubtful, unless Matthew Fox strolled in right now, spotted me, and sat with me for a good hour-long chat. He would notice me, you know. We are both from Wyoming and that makes us two of a kind.
Anyway, the other night, I saw the movie Julie and Julia (or the other way around?). For a movie title that's so confusing, it was a quaint and refreshing flick. Beyond the fact that Meryl Streep made an honestly fabulous Julia Childs, the film also inspired me to get into my blog again...while it also reminded me how narcissistic blogging is. I really have no clue if anybody short of my family reads my blog, but I find blogging therapeutic and fun nonetheless. Way to go, Hollywood, for pushing me to be all that I can be. Maybe?
This afternoon, I am going to return an incredibly overdue movie to the store from which I rented it, chat with my roommate who just returned from overseas, lie down for a nap, ponder the graciousness of God, and prepare myself for another week at school. That's a lot to do on one rainy day where nothing but reading, sipping warm liquids, and snoozing sounds appealing.
Until next time...
Thursday, July 16, 2009
I've Fallen in Love
With the East Coast. After spending two straight weeks back there and a total of nearly three weeks this summer in East Coast cities, I am aware that something new is in my blood. I love the subways, the varied people, the ballparks, the museums, the restaurants, and most of all, the rich history back East. I've fallen in love.
Not that I have lost my love of the West. Not that I had never spent time in cities or back East before. Not that I always appreciate the hurried pace of life in the big cities. Not that I'll ever move back there.
Instead, I just felt like I matured as an American by steeping myself in historical sites and iconic East Coast culture. I have an even greater attachment to our great country now and a greater appreciation of how our country began. I hope.
I also know how to navigate subway systems and feel my way around a city like the best of them. (Yet, I still do have a tendency to somtimes over-think navigation or throw it out the window and wander). I know how to blend in a bit more....though my conspicuous camera and eager-beaver tourist face is nearly impossible to hide. I know how to be a good New Yorker and disregard signs when a more common sense approach is available. No need to wait for the crosswalk sign to change to the chipper white walking guy. No, as a fake New Yorker, I know how to burst onto the street as soon as a Taxi is not 30 feet near me and push my way across the street to the tune of honks and squeels. Take that, red stop-signal hand!!
So, here I am back in Colorado Springs. While my being is taking a sigh of relief in many ways, I am like a lover longing already to go back to her beloved. Okay, that's a bit ridiculuos, but it does tell you that I loved my East Coast trip, does it not?
I hope our long-distance relationship works out well.
Not that I have lost my love of the West. Not that I had never spent time in cities or back East before. Not that I always appreciate the hurried pace of life in the big cities. Not that I'll ever move back there.
Instead, I just felt like I matured as an American by steeping myself in historical sites and iconic East Coast culture. I have an even greater attachment to our great country now and a greater appreciation of how our country began. I hope.
I also know how to navigate subway systems and feel my way around a city like the best of them. (Yet, I still do have a tendency to somtimes over-think navigation or throw it out the window and wander). I know how to blend in a bit more....though my conspicuous camera and eager-beaver tourist face is nearly impossible to hide. I know how to be a good New Yorker and disregard signs when a more common sense approach is available. No need to wait for the crosswalk sign to change to the chipper white walking guy. No, as a fake New Yorker, I know how to burst onto the street as soon as a Taxi is not 30 feet near me and push my way across the street to the tune of honks and squeels. Take that, red stop-signal hand!!
So, here I am back in Colorado Springs. While my being is taking a sigh of relief in many ways, I am like a lover longing already to go back to her beloved. Okay, that's a bit ridiculuos, but it does tell you that I loved my East Coast trip, does it not?
I hope our long-distance relationship works out well.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Perspective
The coffee I made this morning isn't stellar. I think it's been sitting in my cupboard too long. Opened coffee isn't really even supposed to be stored in a cupboard, right? It should probably be in the fridge. Whatever the case, the cup of joe I'm sipping is mediocre at best. Yet, it still made me want to write a paragraph or two before readying for church.
I was thinking back on my NYC trip a few weeks ago and was reminded of one of the funniest happenings during our time there. Traveling with middle schoolers is both entertaining and stressful. Our tour group consisted of students from Wyoming, Texas, and Colorado. For some of these students, the atmosphere of NYC produced massive culture shock. So, the first evening of herding our large group through the streets of Manhattan was like throwing a bunny into the midst of a horse race and expecting it to keep up. We formed a massive tumor blocking the flowing arteries on the streets. Attempting to board the Subway was crazy too...it took a few times for some to realize that you have to push your way on or you may not make it before the doors shut.
So, there we were, fresh off the airplane, testing our legs on the Manhattan ground, trying to resist the temptation of constantly looking around at everything but the path in front. Yes, we were typical tourists taking pictures of everything mundane just because it was in New York. A nice older woman noticed our group and struck up a conversation with one of our Wyoming students as we waited at a light. She asked him where he was from. He answered, "Rawlins."
I bit my lip to keep from smiling too broad or even laughing. The blank look on the woman's face said it all. She faltered a bit. "Rawlins?" The light bulb then flickered on in the Wyoming boy's mind. "Rawlins, Wyoming."
In a matter of minutes, the needed clarification was there. But, it made me laugh inside. We had been in NYC for just a few hours. The boy's perspective hadn't shifted yet. I'm sure where he's from and where he usually travels, answering simply "Rawlins" is sufficient. He had not realized at first that we were in New York and he'd be lucky if people knew where Cheyenne (WY) was let alone Rawlins, a little town in the middle of nowhere.
It made me think of perspective and life experience and how those aspects so affect our ability to communicate and understand one another. It also made me appreciate anew how traveling adds incredible dimension to perspective. I'm just like that Wyoming boy sometimes with my perspective. But, just like he quickly adjusted, I hope I never lose that ability to adjust my perspective when it is necessary. That's a good skill to have.
I was thinking back on my NYC trip a few weeks ago and was reminded of one of the funniest happenings during our time there. Traveling with middle schoolers is both entertaining and stressful. Our tour group consisted of students from Wyoming, Texas, and Colorado. For some of these students, the atmosphere of NYC produced massive culture shock. So, the first evening of herding our large group through the streets of Manhattan was like throwing a bunny into the midst of a horse race and expecting it to keep up. We formed a massive tumor blocking the flowing arteries on the streets. Attempting to board the Subway was crazy too...it took a few times for some to realize that you have to push your way on or you may not make it before the doors shut.
So, there we were, fresh off the airplane, testing our legs on the Manhattan ground, trying to resist the temptation of constantly looking around at everything but the path in front. Yes, we were typical tourists taking pictures of everything mundane just because it was in New York. A nice older woman noticed our group and struck up a conversation with one of our Wyoming students as we waited at a light. She asked him where he was from. He answered, "Rawlins."
I bit my lip to keep from smiling too broad or even laughing. The blank look on the woman's face said it all. She faltered a bit. "Rawlins?" The light bulb then flickered on in the Wyoming boy's mind. "Rawlins, Wyoming."
In a matter of minutes, the needed clarification was there. But, it made me laugh inside. We had been in NYC for just a few hours. The boy's perspective hadn't shifted yet. I'm sure where he's from and where he usually travels, answering simply "Rawlins" is sufficient. He had not realized at first that we were in New York and he'd be lucky if people knew where Cheyenne (WY) was let alone Rawlins, a little town in the middle of nowhere.
It made me think of perspective and life experience and how those aspects so affect our ability to communicate and understand one another. It also made me appreciate anew how traveling adds incredible dimension to perspective. I'm just like that Wyoming boy sometimes with my perspective. But, just like he quickly adjusted, I hope I never lose that ability to adjust my perspective when it is necessary. That's a good skill to have.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Contrast
As I roamed the streets and halls of New York City's most renowned sites last week, my mind was constantly gulping, trying to swallow the massive amount of stimuli being shoved my way. I found myself grasping many truths anew from all that I saw and experienced. Lesson one: Contrast.
Two weeks ago, I was in my Wyoming home. While there, I spent many hours playing with my nieces, baking bread, and working on a mind-numbing bird puzzle. And, though my home town is not the smallest nor the quietest place, it is geographically located in a remote patch of the map. Thus, as I drove back to Colorado at the end of my stay, I was surrounded by massive stretches of lonely, albeit enticing, landscape. Antelope, sheep, and deer were far more abundant than people as I made my way down WY.
As soon as I arrived home that day, I scrambled to do laundry, reorganize and pack again for my departure to New York City early the next morning. In a whirlwind of light naps, coffee sips, newspapers, purse and bag lugging, safety instructions, seat-belt signs, and restless legs, I was whisked to the Big Apple.
It didn't take long to feel the contrast. One day I was in the boondocks. The next day I was in one of the most famous and frenzied cities in the world. You may ask me to choose which I like better. The answer would depend on when you asked. I don't much prefer ice cream first thing in the morning. Late afternoon or early evening, however, ice cream is quite appealing. So, NYC or remote WY? Just depends.
One thing is true, however. Humans are still human in NYC. Brilliant discovery, I know. The difference in style and interests between a Wyoming coal miner and a Broadway artist may be astounding, but they both need food, rest, and companionship. They both get their feelings hurt, feel vulnerable, or have moments of elation.
So it is that this huge and sudden contrast between these two locations made me wish to be an anthropologist.
I am intrigued.
Two weeks ago, I was in my Wyoming home. While there, I spent many hours playing with my nieces, baking bread, and working on a mind-numbing bird puzzle. And, though my home town is not the smallest nor the quietest place, it is geographically located in a remote patch of the map. Thus, as I drove back to Colorado at the end of my stay, I was surrounded by massive stretches of lonely, albeit enticing, landscape. Antelope, sheep, and deer were far more abundant than people as I made my way down WY.
As soon as I arrived home that day, I scrambled to do laundry, reorganize and pack again for my departure to New York City early the next morning. In a whirlwind of light naps, coffee sips, newspapers, purse and bag lugging, safety instructions, seat-belt signs, and restless legs, I was whisked to the Big Apple.
It didn't take long to feel the contrast. One day I was in the boondocks. The next day I was in one of the most famous and frenzied cities in the world. You may ask me to choose which I like better. The answer would depend on when you asked. I don't much prefer ice cream first thing in the morning. Late afternoon or early evening, however, ice cream is quite appealing. So, NYC or remote WY? Just depends.
One thing is true, however. Humans are still human in NYC. Brilliant discovery, I know. The difference in style and interests between a Wyoming coal miner and a Broadway artist may be astounding, but they both need food, rest, and companionship. They both get their feelings hurt, feel vulnerable, or have moments of elation.
So it is that this huge and sudden contrast between these two locations made me wish to be an anthropologist.
I am intrigued.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunshine
I just came in from my front porch. Ah, delight! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and life is looking chipper. I wonder at how a touch of sun can almost instantly transform my mood. It's hard to feel too upset in the presence of such bright warmth.
To me, the sun reminds me of how dependent human beings are. We are not self-sufficient. Even the most accomplished man or woman is not completely independent....not even MacGyver. We need other humans, we need food, we need sunshine. We need God.
Just a simple observation.
To me, the sun reminds me of how dependent human beings are. We are not self-sufficient. Even the most accomplished man or woman is not completely independent....not even MacGyver. We need other humans, we need food, we need sunshine. We need God.
Just a simple observation.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Heart or Logic?
My reading habits are a bit sporadic. I go through phases where I read constantly, scolding myself for letting months of undisciplined reading patterns slip by. Then, I experience a lull in my ardor and find I have to push myself to read, if I do it at all. So, I am on a pendulum swing of ambition and apathy regarding the reading of books.
Just so happens I'm in a dry spell right now. Perhaps it's because I have no book in my possession that is captivating me. More likely, my mind is too preoccupied with thoughts of summer, plans for the future, and mindless distractions like....um....Facebook and day-dreaming (should I admit that?). One of these days, the pendulum will swing to the other side and a zealous yearning for academia will grip me once again.
Though my desire for books is lacklustre at the moment, there is a book I have been working on finishing. Take the Risk by Ben Carson, renowned neurosurgeon, is truly inspiring. My dad recommended it, so I knew it would be well worth my time, and....it has been.
One of the main premises of the book is that risk-taking is healthy but that there are smart ways to decipher whether a risk is worthwhile. Carson patented his own risk analysis in the form of four questions: 1) What is the best thing that could happen if I took this risk? 2) What is the worst thing that could happen if I took this risk? 3) What is the best thing that could happen if I didn't take this risk? 4) What is the worst thing that could happen if I didn't take this risk? Using his own story to exemplify such risk analysis in action, Carson successfully shows the value in thinking through major decisions that involve elements of risk by using logic.
Faced with some big decisions myself and encouraged by my dad to try Carson's approach, I made my way to Starbucks this morning with journal in hand to flesh out my own risk analyses on each of my options. I think it was helpful. I mean, I don't believe I had any new revelations. Being the obsessive person I am, I had already been hashing through a million thoughts about each option for weeks. However, putting the words on paper may have given some clarity.
Here's the problem. I don't know if I can make a decision purely on logic. I think I have to make it partially according to my heart too. Maybe that's cheesy, but it's true. It's like those silly lists that people have for finding a qualified mate (not offending anyone who's made a list, because I have in the past too). As neat as those might be, you'll probably fall in love with some guy/girl who doesn't match the list completely while Mr./Miss perfect over there just doesn't seem to capture your attention. It's much the same with such big life decisions. The "smart" move isn't always the most appealing to your heart.
Obviously, Bible reading, prayer and counsel from trusted mentors/friends is another key aspect to decision-making. And Carson definitely incorporates some of those aspects in his book. I'm just saying, though, that when it comes to the actual making of the decision, should heart or logic rule? And what if the options all seem equally risky with none outshining the other? What then? What if you're in a holding pattern that is growing increasingly aggravating? Not speaking from personal experience or anything [awkward cough].........
Okay, okay. So, I am in a frustrating though exciting place. I just need to know....heart or logic? My goal is to pursue the will of God, but I still have to make decisions. It's rarely done for me. I guess that, since the answer is not clear, I need to wait until it is...and, then, no matter how I know, I will know. Maybe it will be my heart or maybe pure logic. Either way, I must trust that God will guide. Easy to say. Hard to do. Lord, please help me trust.
Just so happens I'm in a dry spell right now. Perhaps it's because I have no book in my possession that is captivating me. More likely, my mind is too preoccupied with thoughts of summer, plans for the future, and mindless distractions like....um....Facebook and day-dreaming (should I admit that?). One of these days, the pendulum will swing to the other side and a zealous yearning for academia will grip me once again.
Though my desire for books is lacklustre at the moment, there is a book I have been working on finishing. Take the Risk by Ben Carson, renowned neurosurgeon, is truly inspiring. My dad recommended it, so I knew it would be well worth my time, and....it has been.
One of the main premises of the book is that risk-taking is healthy but that there are smart ways to decipher whether a risk is worthwhile. Carson patented his own risk analysis in the form of four questions: 1) What is the best thing that could happen if I took this risk? 2) What is the worst thing that could happen if I took this risk? 3) What is the best thing that could happen if I didn't take this risk? 4) What is the worst thing that could happen if I didn't take this risk? Using his own story to exemplify such risk analysis in action, Carson successfully shows the value in thinking through major decisions that involve elements of risk by using logic.
Faced with some big decisions myself and encouraged by my dad to try Carson's approach, I made my way to Starbucks this morning with journal in hand to flesh out my own risk analyses on each of my options. I think it was helpful. I mean, I don't believe I had any new revelations. Being the obsessive person I am, I had already been hashing through a million thoughts about each option for weeks. However, putting the words on paper may have given some clarity.
Here's the problem. I don't know if I can make a decision purely on logic. I think I have to make it partially according to my heart too. Maybe that's cheesy, but it's true. It's like those silly lists that people have for finding a qualified mate (not offending anyone who's made a list, because I have in the past too). As neat as those might be, you'll probably fall in love with some guy/girl who doesn't match the list completely while Mr./Miss perfect over there just doesn't seem to capture your attention. It's much the same with such big life decisions. The "smart" move isn't always the most appealing to your heart.
Obviously, Bible reading, prayer and counsel from trusted mentors/friends is another key aspect to decision-making. And Carson definitely incorporates some of those aspects in his book. I'm just saying, though, that when it comes to the actual making of the decision, should heart or logic rule? And what if the options all seem equally risky with none outshining the other? What then? What if you're in a holding pattern that is growing increasingly aggravating? Not speaking from personal experience or anything [awkward cough].........
Okay, okay. So, I am in a frustrating though exciting place. I just need to know....heart or logic? My goal is to pursue the will of God, but I still have to make decisions. It's rarely done for me. I guess that, since the answer is not clear, I need to wait until it is...and, then, no matter how I know, I will know. Maybe it will be my heart or maybe pure logic. Either way, I must trust that God will guide. Easy to say. Hard to do. Lord, please help me trust.
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